英语小故事

I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me along time to believe in the power of simple saying, "I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain. And meaning it.
One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happen to them. Then her pain became a story about themselves. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. It was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care. Many people with cancer can talk about the relief ,of having someone just listen.

I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.

Tags: timid , tissues , relief , cancer ,

For years Tom Anderson's life was withered up by the memory of his part in a fraternity adventure that resulted in the death of one of his classmates. He and his wife separated after six years of marriage. Then the news about Tom changed. His wife Betty came back; he earned a fine position. One day he told me what had changed his life. "I used to think, `Nothing can undo what I have done.' The thought of my guilt would stop me in the middle of a smile or a handshake. It put a wall between my wife and me.  

Then I had an unexpected visit from the person I dreaded most to see -- the mother of the college classmate who died. "Years ago", she said, "I found it in my heart, through prayer, to forgive you. Betty forgave you. So did your friends and employers.' She paused, and then said sternly, "You are the one person who hasn't forgiven Tom Anderson. Who do you think you are to stand out against the people of this town and the Lord Almighty?" "I looked into her eyes and found there a kind of permission to be the person I might have been if her boy had lived. For the first time in my adult life I felt worthy to love and be loved."

Tags: forgive , hate , love , Relationship ,

Night had fallen over the North African desert, and our battalions tanks were huddled in a protective circle. A group of my fellow soldiers stood around a radio. As I approached, one of them put his finger to his lips.


From the radio came a bugle call, then a tender, come-kiss-me womans voice singing in German the most haunting melody I'd ever heard.

Tags: war , Novel ,